I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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