If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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