ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
