I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Randomize