this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Randomize
