Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
