During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
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