i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
They have beer where we have blood.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
