positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
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