Fine. I'll sleep in my office
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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