I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
What a dumb baby whore.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
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