dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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