Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
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