Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
