im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
