i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
