So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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