he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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