Don't you send me to vm
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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