Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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