he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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