Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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