We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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