You made me cry and you don't even care
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Randomize
