Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
