I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Randomize
