So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Randomize
