That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
