with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
