wanna go halves on a baby?
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Randomize
