She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
