i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
