and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
