you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
