Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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