Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I need moral support for this bender
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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