yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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