Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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