so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
