This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
In America we eat man semen.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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