He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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