Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Randomize
