My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
