we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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