i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize