It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
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