where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
