You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
