Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
did i just pee glitter
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
