Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize