dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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