I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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