Her vagina should come with caution tape.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
