East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
