The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
