I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
