turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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