i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
