I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
