I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
