Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
