Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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