Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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